Everywhere I looked, there was obscurity; I sought for support but all in vain. In my teenage years, I was that kid full of worries and insecurity. Being brought up as a gay boy in a communist country made life horrendous at times. However, it allowed me to find my real self. Accepting myself as gay was hard due to living in an anti-gay society and lack of support; however, the freedom I found in the United States unleashed my chains of oppression, but now I understand that Nothing is predestined; the obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings.
My parents were totally anti-gay. My mom being a staunch Christian did not stand homosexuals. She always used to say, Homosexuality is a sin, and God do not like homosexual, I responded to her, Mom we have to respect everyone, even if theyre not like us.
My father, full of masculinity, oftenly made fun about gay men. I recall watching TV with my parents, listening to their remarks whenever a faggot, as my father called them, performed. More oftenly I speculated what their thoughts would be if they knew how stirred up I became every time I saw my male stars on television. I would have to face and fight everyone, my family, and the society, I thought. The subjugation I went through in the Dominican Republic, for being gay during the time still worry me.
I still remember a time I was in the eighth grade. I always used to sit at the front of the class, because I enjoy that most. My classmates who were in the back always used to make jokes about me just because I was not like them.
I recall this day we were waiting for the teacher to enter the classroom I heard them saying Luis like boys and we dont like gays. I responded to them, Not because you assume I like boys make me a different person.
Later that day, the same group of classmates who were making fun of me attacked me once again. One of them said: Hey lets go and kiss Luis, and I responded, Please leave me alone I did nothing wrong. And all of them started laughing, and someone from the back said, Kiss the faggot, kiss the faggot.
In that same moment, all my classmates started to laugh at me while I kept saying Leave me alone Im just trying to study.
In addition to being fearful for my gay life, the absence of support steered me to despair and dejection. Every day I wished I could have met someone with my same story. I felt as if I had no limbs, abandoned. I still had my mouth, but then again for what? Nobody was there for me I could talk to. My heart still pounded, uncertain if it should in the hub of that emotional pandemonium, I leaped into wretchedness.
In 2014, I came out to my more and I told her Mom Im gay, I hope you support me and respect me, she responded, Son do not worry, you still being my son even if I do not agree with that choice I respect and love you.
We both were crying at that moment; I was saying in my mind I cannot believe I told my mom I am gay.Ever since, the relationship with my mom has been better than ever. It was not easy accepting myself as a homosexual. I was locked up in my fears for a long time until recently I discovered a free nation that I finally allowed myself to run free and confidently experience happiness for the first time. The course I have followed has led me to who I am today; a complete human being.
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Growing up as Homosexual. (2019, Jun 11). Retrieved from https://speedypaper.com/essays/growing-up-as-homosexual
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