|Type of paper:||Essay|
|Categories:||Violence Relationship Personal experience Sexual assault Sexual abuse|
For decades, there has been growing philosophical interest in marriages, personal relationships, violence, and well-being. Also, there are thoughtful writing on disability, mainly about equality and justice. This paper will examine own experiences concerning sexual abuse, cohabitation, marriage and diverse relationship. It will also explain how those experiences would change if there were a change in gender, class, race, religion and sexuality.
An acquaintance at my university sexually assaulted me. The person who raped me stalked me and followed me to threaten me and ensure that I did not tell anyone. I was not comfortable to report the issue to the campus administration because I heard the negative experience from other students who had said the same problem. Nikita, who was my best friend and roommate, noticed that I was anxious, and I had started to keep a distance from her. She got concerned, and finally, I told her about the rape experience. Nikita was shocked and angry. She wanted to get back to the perpetrator, but I told her that I need her around me for comfort. Nikita respected my request and said she will always be there for me.
My mother was the second person to know about the rape experience. Though it was an awkward conversation, I am glad that I told my mother, and she gave me much support and love. She felt like it was a fault that I got raped, and she had not done enough to keep me safe. She never imagined that something like that would happen to me. My elder brother heard the sad news, and he was very hurt and upset, but he was able to act supportive.
From that experience, I have had a panic attack, anxiety, depression, and difficulty forming and trusting new relationships, especially with men (Breiding, 2014). For a long time after the rape, I find myself hyper-aware of my surroundings and am fearful of moving around alone. I also feel very bothered and aware of my boundaries, especially when a friend asks for favour multiple times after I said no. When my 'no' gets ignored, I feel anxious, and it reminds me of the assault.Initially, I did not want to attend counselling and support groups because I was worried, I would be blamed or judged for what had happened to me. When I finally participated in a group for sexual assault survivors, I found it helpful.
At age 22, I was in love with Mike. We dated for three years, and we would sleepover at each place most of the time. We were in deep love, and we liked to be together most of the time, which was more fun, economical, convenient, and cheaper. Living together was a quick move, but if things failed between us, there was a quick exit. As a woman, I saw cohabitation as a move toward our marriage (PerelliHarris & Gassen, 2012). Mike, on the other hand, confessed that he was testing our relationship
We got ourselves into a situation that we imagined it would be low cost only to find ourselves powerless to get out months and even years. My relationship with Mike was like signing up for a credit card with zero percent interest. After a year, when the interest went up to twenty-four percent, I felt trapped because my balance was too much to pay off. I got in a lock-in situation, and the attention to search, change, or find another partner decreased.
After cohabitating for three years, we got more committed to each other, and we talked about our marriage. When I was 25, Mike and I had a lavish wedding. After one year of marriage, we were blessed with twins. Children come with many responsibilities, and I decided to quit my work and focus on them. My marriage life was not easy. My husband got into much drinking and cheated on me. We divorced after three years.
Relationships are magical. My connection with people has been a base to change. The relationship I have built with diverse people from a different culture has enabled me to achieve substantial goals. Through this relationship, I have brought quality health care in my community. I have promoted economic development, and my children have been to a good school where they get a quality education. The relationship I have with people from different ethnic, races, languages, and the economic group is built on understanding, trust, and shared goals.
The trusting relationship has been the glue that holds us together as we work on a common problem. As we work on challenging issues, we have to hang on together when things get tough. The support we give to each other is an effort that keeps us moving on, even in the discouraging moments. We resist the efforts of those who separate from each other based on culture (Blazek & Hranova, 2012). My relationship with people is firm regardless of our religious, racial, ethnic, and socioeconomic status differences. Friendship provides strength to achieve social goals.
When I remember how I was raped, I get agitated and wish I was of different sex. If I were a man, I would not have been raped. Being a man lowers the chances of being raped while a woman has a higher risk of sexual assaults. Men can defend themselves because they are more masculine, unlike women who can't fight a rapist.
I come from a family where the economic class is low. Among other reasons, I cohabitated with Mike because I had no money to sustain my lifestyle. If I had enough money, I would have stayed in my place without depending on Mike.
I am a Christian, and my religion only allows the marriage of people of different gender (Tesu, 2011). Additionally, my faith allows married to just a single person, and it discourages unfaithfulness. If was a Muslim, maybe my marriage would not have ended. I would have encouraged Mike to Marry another woman instead of cheating on me. I am not only attracted to men but also women, if my religion allowed the marriage of the same sex, maybe I would have been happily married to a nice woman.
The above experience does not surprise me anymore because every experience has been a learning process. My interest in men has lowered and am now more attracted to women. However, society has programmed us to think that getting intimate with a person of the same sex is wrong. It is unfortunate and unfair on how society views my sexuality.
Blazek, M., & Hranova, P. (2012). Emerging relationships and diverse motivations and benefits in participatory video with young people. Children's Geographies, 10(2), 151-168.
Breiding, M. J. (2014). Prevalence and characteristics of sexual violence, stalking, and intimate partner violence victimization-National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, United States, 2011. Morbidity and mortality weekly report. Surveillance summaries (Washington, DC: 2002), 63(8), 1.
PerelliHarris, B., & Gassen, N. S. (2012). How similar are cohabitation and marriage? Legal approaches to cohabitation across Western Europe. Population and development review, 38(3), 435-467.
Tesu, I. C. (2011). The Future of the Christian Family. Analele Stiintifice ale Universitatii>> Alexandru Ioan Cuza <
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