That morning began a little different. I was up two hours earlier than my usual time of waking up. The only reason behind this very unusual happening is an event that was scheduled in the morning hours of our entrepreneurship expo. I was never as tensed as I were that specific morning. I was under the self-pressure of putting up all I could in order to achieve the best and not disappoint myself and all the thousands of people who looked upon me. I had just been promoted to the Regional Manager of the private firm I worked for. That was the genesis of my worst fears.
Ten minutes prior to my speech, I was still striving to master the most fundamental points of my speech. Still tensed, I drafted a simple note that would act as a secret guideline during my speech. Few moments later I was delivering a speech based on innovation and entrepreneurial ventures. So engrossed in creating an amazing first impression during my first speech as regional manager, I accidentally stuttered upon a certain simple but rather complicated German term. In both fear and panic, I ran short of ideas and words as my mouth fell agape. Suppose the audience would not have stopped and applauded at that specific moment, I would have wished to vanish to save myself the humiliation.
Away from the audience, I pondered at the thought of the perception of the audience concerning the word I had just stuttered. Few days later I was still dreading at that thought and that was the moment I went to seek the advice of a medical expert. I was referred to a psychotherapist. Once with the psychotherapist, I shared all the symptoms I had experienced since I got promoted in work. According to Doctor Einstein, I began experiencing anxiety due to the pressure I had mounted on myself. I recall blushing at my fellow work mates and that is when every detail began unravelling. The mystery was slowly being solved. I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder which has physical symptoms such as excessive sweating, stammering, blushing and nausea. These were the exact symptoms I has exhibited a few days after I left the concert.
After the diagnosis the doctor was first to share both the good and bad news. The good news was that the disorder was treatable and the bad news was that this kind of disorder is worsened by alcoholism and drug usage and abuse. The doctor claimed that there were two types of treatment. The first was the cognitive therapy whose cardinal objective is to do away with social phobia through the alteration of the manner in which an individual reacts to all situations in life. The second type of treatment is seeking medications which is only recommended to failed subjects of cognitive therapy. I agreed to be treated using both methods. In one of the therapy sessions I began attending, I learnt from Doctor Einstein that what caused the panic and fear attacks during all the days of work was the fear to fail below peoples expectations.
As part of the medication procedures, the Doctor had prescribed for me antidepressants and serotonin reuptake inhibitors which play a massive role in ensuring that all attempts to get me depressed would be stifled and kept at their low. It is beyond any doubt that the medicine that the doctor prescribed such as Paxil and paroxetine were effective since my medical report reported that I was experiencing lesser instances of anxiety. That is how I am recovering from my anxiety disorders.
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