Response to an Affidavit in Opposition Motion Why the Father is Not Resolving Issues
One of the most contentious problems in a divorce is child custody, and a child, in this case, is defined as someone below the age of 21 years according to the Women's Charter. At times the child is taken to the counselor who is responsible for taking care of the child, especially for help in psychological matters affecting the child as a result of the separation of the parents. Despite the spouse's divorce, both of the parents still have the authority when it comes to deciding on the main issues affecting the child's day to day matters. The parents acquire full control of the child when in their custody. In my case, my ex-husband and I have joint custody and complete control of our child Trevor, but the problem is that he is not helping in correcting the issues that we are facing. Instead, he blames me for all mistakes without finding out the reasons as to my behavior.
Solving of Issues in divorce decree
Right and Wrong
Increasingly, the courts have been giving custody of the children to both parents. The reason for joint custody is for the good of the child. The presence of the two parents in the life of the child is significant for development or rather crucial support to the child. Just because the marriage has ended, it does not mean that parenthood stops altogether. In this case, I feel that my ex-husband has been assuming all the responsibilities and major decisions about the welfare of our child. There are several issues that he has not resolved, and they affect our son and me adversely. Despite not correcting issues while he has the custody of Trevor, other problems have emerged which have prompted me to respond to the matter at hand. As the other partner with a responsibility to my son, I have a right to defend my custody of our son, which is aimed at improving his welfare.
It is also wrong that my ex-husband has been taking the side of my son, especially when he goes complaining to him after I have disciplined him. As a parent, I know how important it is to teach a child since it contributes significantly to his growth, development and training in the later life of adulthood. I have been trying to learn and educated Trevor to my level best. However, when Trevor is in the custody of his father and complains of how I discipline him, the father takes his side. He forwards the complaints to his lawyer who then contacts me in an unfriendly manner. Most of the children are not in support of the disciplined measure imposed on them and would thus lean to the side where the discipline rules are not stringent. This is the same case that has been happening with my son since he does not approve of my discipline measure.
Despite my effort in trying to bring up our son in an upright manner, my ex-husband has been pointing fingers at me and blaming me for making our son unhappy. He puts forward the blames without even doing a thorough research on why I had to discipline Trevor. For proper child bringing, the parents need to join hands and ensure that their children are well-behaved instead of putting the blame on each other. My ex-husband has been doing the contrary of what was expected, and I feel that this is very wrong. I have a right to discipline my son by the law. Additionally, it is very wrong that my ex-husband cannot punish our son all in the name of wanting to win him over and make me look bad in the eyes of my son. He should perform the responsibility of a parent and instill the necessary education and discipline required of Trevor's upbringing.
It would only be right if my ex-husband would stop the blame game regarding the custody of our child. Neither of us is perfect, thus instead of playing the blame games, we should have a serious talk on the upbringing of our child. He should contact me to establish the facts on why I decided to discipline our son in the manner in which I did, and from there we can agree on several ways of doing the disciplinary and the education. His avoiding disciplining Trevor does not do any good. Consequently, lack of proper upbringing will haunt us later in life as the parents. It would be a greater disappointment when Trevor reaches an age where it would be hard to teach him to the right path since we ignored to make the changes while he is still young.
Code of conduct definition
Offensive and Defensive
Breach of Conduct by the Counselor
Code of Conduct outlines the acceptable ethical issues and workplace behaviors that the employees in any given position should adhere to diligently. The formal document clearly describes what the employees should and should not do. As a result of the breach of the code of conduct, the employee should be eligible to penalties of equivalence to and level of the contact breached. The kind of the offense that the counselor in charge of my son committed is categorically a primary offense, and thus severe measures should be enforced. Not only did she abuse her power by trading off the sensitive medical report of my son to his father without my knowledge, but also informed me that I had to pay $10, 000 if I wanted the medical report that should be handed over to me even without asking for it. Thus, she has to face the full force of law by violating her job conducts.
A counselor was given the responsibility of counseling our son when he was in the custody of his father. Her responsibilities were to make all the decisions about Trevor more so health-related decisions. The decision the counselor was to make were inclusive of the daily care of Trevor, help him manage the parent separation issues, his health care, and general behavioral correction. However, I have lost faith in the counselor, and I now know that she is not capable enough to look after my son appropriately. She was given the responsibility to take care of all the needs of our child and act according to the set codes of conduct, but she breached the ethical and professional conduct. I have exhibits that the counselor saw Trevor cry for the whole of 2016, but she did not inform me on any of this.
The crying of the children can do more than the public harm, not only to their health but also for general growth. The prevention of mind relaxation, loss of appetite and depression are among the negative impact that is associated with the continuous crying. Additionally, when a child cries especially for a prolonged period, then that implies that there is something vital to him that is not being provided. With the maternal instincts naturally instilled in me, crying of the child continuously can be stressing, and more so when the child is not in my custody. I could not stomach the look on my son when I know he had been crying all through under unknown circumstance. Whenever I see his dark face, I cannot help but cry too. Thus, I thereby feel that the counselor appointed for my son failed terrifically in her duties and thereby should get offloaded her obligations and the child handed over to a better guide who can act and perform these duties as expected.
The right to have access to medical care
Another reason why the guide has failed in her duties is that she did not at any one time listen to the pleas and complaints that Trevor had been presenting to her. It is the right of my son as a true citizen of this nation to have access to medical health. His complaining to the counselor was a clear indication that something was eating him up, an ailment that could be treated but the guide chose not to recommend a medical practitioner and concealed the information from me for reasons only known to her. Being denied access to health care is the worst thing that can happen to a helpless child who could not get access to life necessities just because the mother had no custody of him. Therefore, the counselor should be offloaded the burden of my son since he is on the verge of something risky happening to him as he could not be provided with medical attention needed. I have the interest of my son at heart, and I would gladly give him the life necessities like access to care as his mother.
Not only did the counselor fail by making my son cry his eyes out for a whole year and denying him his right to access medical health, but she also collaborated with my husband to leak personal and private information about my son's health without my consent. My ex-husband had access to this sensitive information for free, and he did not tell me about it, yet we all have a part to play in our son's life as per the terms of the joint custody. To blow everything out of proportions, I was asked by the same counselor who acted behind my back with my ex-husband to pay a huge lump sum of money amounting to $10,000. Honestly, if it were for a good course, I would gladly work myself off to raise the price. However, the strange thing is that she was asking me to pay that entire amount for information that should be relayed to me way before even asking for it.
The maternal care in divorce
Fair and Unfair
As a mother, I have a right to know what my son is ailing from and act appropriately as per my duties as a parent. By the end of the day, I would be the one to lose just in case anything terrible happens to my son. The fact that my ex-husband could access the information is unfair since we all have equal rights to access the information about the health and welfares of our son. The counselor should face justice for acting in a biased way and favoring my ex-husband by having him obtain the medical report of our son. I protest the continuity of the counselor taking care and being in charge of my son since she does not have the best interest of my child at heart. If it is not possible for me to be granted the full custody of my son, then I would be more appropriate if the counselor could be swapped for a more caring and code of conduct adhering counselor.
It is also unfair that Trevor's father has enrolled our son in a competitive baseball league and some summer league ball and swim club. It is very fair when my son gets to engage in creative activities like these, but the wrong thing is the timing of the events. His father has made sure that these activities coincided with my days of custody of Trevor, and this is way too unfair on my part as these activities deprive Trevor and erode his time with his mother. This is not appropriate behavior, and the father should be reminded of his wrongful actions and it should be stopped immediately. His desire to enroll Trevor in these activities is all for selfish motives of wanting to widen the gap between my son and me. These activities have eroded two of my custody days, and to make the matter worse, my ex-husband never consulted me before making that decision. He is only after hurting me when he does that, and this is not fair at all.
Once I discovered that Trevor needed emergency treatment, I put all the input measures in a position so that I could attend to the health matters of my son enough. I consulted a doctor on the issue to have Trevor start medication right away. However, instead of this issue being taken with the weight it bears, Trevorts father denied my input on the issue. He went ahead to discuss my concerns and complaints with Trevor who does not even know what is best for him since he is just a kid of ten years. My efforts of attending to my childts heath were not appreciated or acknowledged at all in this particular moment. The consultant in 2014, Bob Finlay, who initially discussed this health matter with my ex-husband Andrew, suggested that Andrew hires Sandy Hawkins to treat my son. That was a humiliation of the highest level since and my effort to cater for my child's health was trashed away and disregarded as worthless.
An importance of child safety
Having swapped my doctor for his, Andrew should not have compelled me to pay for the other half of the medical services provided to our son. He disrespectfully disregarded my doctor. Thus Andrew should be the one to cater for the recurring expenses since he saw my ideas as worthless. It would only be fair if he consulted me so that we could collectively agree and take our son to the best doctor. The competition that he was trying to pose was totally out of place and unhealthy, and it directly has adverse effects on our son as he had to see daily when his parents keep on fighting even for very simple matters. Communication is important, and in this case, a simple consultation would have been good for me all the right for our son. Thus, I at this moment feel that the unhealthy competition Andrew poses to me has already affected our son to a great extent, and he should be denied custody till the time when he knows the value of the care.
Safety of our child should come first before our differences. Having him have a say, I matter that are way beyond his age is precarious and could have severe consequences if we give him the mandate to decide on what is best for him. Having Trevor enrolled in the competitive sports is way too risky for his tender age. Additionally, having to see us disagree on everything especially matters that are sensitive to him like his health is not only unsafe for him but us too. Thus, it would be safe we put aside our differences for once and have the essential matters attended to adhesively. Having a child lose faith in their parents is very disappointing since he may conceal important information from them which may have to severe implications later in the future. Both physical and emotional safety of Trevor is vital hence Andrew should face the law when he tries to mess around with these facts.
Safe and unsafe
Why the Father Is Not Resolving Issues
I disagree with the idea of sharing custody of my son with my ex-husband. With my ex-husband having the care of our son, I feel that Trevor is rather unsafe by having his father as part of the care. He has not changed or corrected his behavior of being over protective and failing to discipline our son, and this is a major risk for our son. His kind of behavioral conduct is not fit for our son since it would be bad for him to grow while morally crooked. Not only can he emulate the behaviors of his father but can it can also end up affecting him negatively since he has an emotional connection with his father whereby he is on the verge of believing that everything his father does is always correct. Children are too quick on picking up behaviors from other people whether good or bad, and it would be unsafe for him to have his father as a role model since he will need to man up and discipline his children when he grows up.
Andrew has been actively aggressive over the recent past trying to destroy my relationship with my family and friends, and he has been doing this by turning them against me making them believe that I am a terrible mother to my son. He has a psychologist for a sister who can is capable of advising him according to over the issues we are facing at the moment. Andrew's maliciousness started way back after delivery of Trevor has he would start fights once he arrived home from work. He has a deep history of rage issues as a fan of multiple sports teams, and I have witnessed Andrew go through withdrawal when the Canuck's contract agreements go haywire, and he does not have the ability to focus on the television and follow the games. His family too had had family feuds as he suffered a lot when his mother, Jane James, and her brother were distanced for over 30 years as a result of a family feud, and it was not until her passing that her immediate family communicated with him. Andrew has thus been affected greatly and wants to pass this predisposition on Trevor. As the mother to Trevor, I cannot allow my son to go through the family feud stress. Thus, I would do anything legal to protect my son.
Joint custody with ex-husband
Joint custody was meant to give my ex-husband time to rectify his behavior, but that has not been the case. Since my ex-husband has failed to correct his behavior, then he should know I should be given the full custody of my child to keep his actions in check solely. It was very offensive and against the law for the ex-husband to go beyond my back and obtain the medical report of our child without being informed immediately as well, my sonts health care has been delayed far too long. Our son is our priority, and we both have equal rights to know what our son is undergoing. He being given a chance to access information that I was delayed informed we had to pay huge sums to obtain. We both should regularly be informed on the medical state of our son with no costs attached whatsoever. Additionally, it was unfair that it took a whole year for me to get informed on the medical issues of my son. As a woman and a mother, I have equal right as my ex-husband, and so is the manner to the access to report that he too has access. The court should thus use this incident to analyze and serve justice in this case.
It is very unsafe to give power and mandate to a child to decide on sensitive matters like their health issues. The act that Andrew had to consult Trevor on my complaints about his health is not acceptable. As a mother, I have the right to decide on what treatment my son should undergo since I know what is best for him. Andrew having to consult with Trevor clearly indicates that my opinion is not valid at all. Additionally, he portrayed a bad image in my son's head by having him have a better say than mine when he consulted Trevor than believe what I had to say. Respect is equally important, but in this case, Andrew humiliated me in the worst way possible. I have a right to be treated and coded all the respect I deserve and not be disrespected for any reason at all. It would be reasonable for him to talk things over before behaving disrespectfully.
The disputes that my ex-husband and I have been having needed to be solved with immediate effects before things get out of proportion. Most of the complaints that I have put forward results from my ex-husband's aggressiveness to bar me from being with my son. joint custody means that we all have equal right to be with our son. Thus he should let me have my time since I do not interfere with his time with Trevor. Since he has proven to be more aggressive and challenging for me to handle, I would, therefore, ask for the intervention of the court in this matter. He has subjected me to mental stress which has caused me anger as it is very difficult to parent as a result of these actions, and this affects my health in general. I still need to have mental and health stability so that I can play my role as a mother to Trevor. He is a young child, and his well-being and welfare are my priority in my lie.
The problem that I am having with my ex-husband can only be solved by having stringent laws govern the time we have with our son. He should not interfere with my custody time for whatever reason. If he needs Trevor to engage in any extra curriculum activities without consulting me, then he should do so within his custody days and not mine. Additionally, Andrew should establish facts before pointing fingers and blame me for disciplining my son. He too as a father has a responsibility to teaching Trevor, and if this is too much for him, then I should be given full custody of Trevor. His malicious aggressiveness should be evidenced enough of him being denied the care of Trevor since he has breached the terms of the contract pertaining the contract. As a mother, I should not be subjected to any pressure since I still have a long way in bringing up my son and this would not be possible with the kind of pressure that his father has made me undergo.
In summary, I am requesting for my husband to help in correcting our son's behavior and guiding him appropriately without taking the son's side to win him over. I would also appreciate if my ex-husband can assume the responsibility in making crucial decisions regarding the welfare of our son. Additionally, I am suggesting the replacement of Trevor's counselor because she is biased and has failed by breaking her ethical code of conduct. She is taking advantage of the situation to demand huge sums of money in trading for our son's information, which is one-sided. I am also proposing that she face the law for her misconduct to avoid repetition of such actions. I am supporting the idea that Trevor should engage in physical exercises such as the ones his father registered him. However, such decision should be made by both of us, and they should not affect our time with our son. I am willing to take full custody of our son in case my ex-husband is not ready to take parental roles seriously. Correcting the behaviors of a child is one such a central role that each parent should play. If the father does what the child tells him rather than having the son do what the father says, then, Trevor's morals might be corrupted, and he might live a regrettable life in the future just because of someone who failed his role as a parent. Finally, I would like the law to take its course so that my ex-husband will not continue subjecting me to mental stress by barring me from being with my son.
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