Essay Sample on Dreams and Reality in The Stone Angel

Introduction

Self-fulfillment refers to one's ability to make themselves happy and complete through innate efforts. In most cases, it makes an individual be proud of themselves and be happy about their achievements. However, self-fulfillment does not always guarantee a happy ending since some choices could cause regret later in life. In The Stone Angel, the author conveys the idea that the pursuit of self-fulfillment does not always yield gratification feelings; instead, it may lead to regretful choices or actions that affect their mental health. In the pursuit of self-fulfillment, individuals do not take into consideration of their present situations, make hasty decisions based on their current mental state, and act based on their feelings and they tend to disregard social expectations and norms. Laurence uses point of view narrator and flashbacks to illustrate further the idea that self-fulfillment does not always yield self-gratification but rather may cause regrets in the future.

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Immediate Self Fulfillment

When people want to experience immediate self-fulfillment and gratification, they make decisions without considering their present situation. One’s present circumstances is one of the primary factors that is usually overlooked when pursuing self-gratification. People may go to the extent of bluffing. Bluffing is one of the techniques that come to mind when seeking self-satisfaction. Bluffing is a threat that a person makes to do something that they do not plan on doing. It is one of the many versions of lying and, in most cases, the threatened party provide the bluffer with something to alleviate the pressure. However, this was not the case for Hagar Shipley. Hagar pursues self-fulfillment when she decides to confront her father and tells him that she would want to be a teacher in a remote region when it is all a bluff.

Instead, all Hagar wanted was to experience her father's affection. Hagar would have received self-satisfaction and gratification from testing her father's love and respect for her. After her return from college, she confronts the father of her plans that she wanted to teach and she would get a place at the South Wachakwa School. Hagar told her father, "I want to teach. I can get the South Wachakwa school" (Laurence 43). In one of the protagonist's flashbacks, a reader can see that her father showed his emotion at least once in his life when she hid a chokecherry bush at the cemetery when the father and Dreiser's mother had "an affair after the death of the woman's husband" (Laurence 44). During Hagar's confrontation with the father, he reaches a higher point of rage as she seemingly squeezes a newel post. First, the point-of-view narration is seen when Hagar said, "We were standing at the foot of the stairs.

My father put his hands around the newel post and gripped it as though it were a throat" (Laurence 44). At least Hagar's pursuit of self-fulfillment had been achieved when she had to make his proud father unleash his emotions, but in the most extraordinary way of expressing affection. Rather than appreciating the need for each other at the moment, the encounter ends sadly since Hagar pulls away as if "she had touched a hot stove" (Laurence 44). Hagar also pulled away from her father due to her pride and arrogance. However, the fact remains that Hagar had gotten what he wants, a sign that she is an important figure to her father, but her pride could not allow her to go after him when he goes outside. Though she expected confrontation, Hagar wanted her father to show her some affection, which he did, but it was not the way she expected. Instead of the scene ending with a show of love, it ended with a sign that Hagar and her father were incompatible proving both Hagar's and her father's stubbornness. Bluffing yielded self-fulfillment in this case, but regrettable actions could be seen when the scene did not end with a sign of love.

Hasty Decisions

In other instances, people make hasty decisions for self-fulfillment based on their current mental condition. Hasty decisions are made to guarantee instant satisfaction, but it leads to more problems in the future. It takes some time to research and make an educated decision that would solve future problems. It is always better to wait rather than making a hasty decision that would have consequences later on, as it was the situation for Hagar Shipley after she decided to marry Brampton. The protagonist sees Bram as a tool for escaping the dull, undignified, and traditionally feminine and unaffectionate life she lived with her father. Hagar says, "I'd been back in Manawaka three years when I met Brampton Shipley, quite by chance, for normally I would not have found myself in his company" (Laurence 44). After her marriage to Brampton, Hagar is at a point where she rejects and rebels against her father.

The first consequence of hasty decisions in pursuit of self-fulfillment is seen when she finds herself in a position where she still has to conduct the traditional roles and responsibilities. With time, Hagar gave birth to Marvin and John, and she had no choice other than watch her sons get older and indulge in various activities that she had no chance to enjoy when she was young. Her regret is imminent when she tells John that it was "A great pity your grandfather never saw you" (Laurence 114). The protagonist tries to tame her favorite's son naughty behavior that included playing on dangerous grounds and getting to trouble with the town residents. Her continued regulation of John's behavior can be interpreted as a way of preventing him from having numerous adventures she did not enjoy during her childhood. Hagar indicated, "The trestle bridge was where the railway crossed the Wachakwa River a mile or so from town. The boys were daring each other to walk across it" (Laurence 118).

As she grows older, Hagar has to deal with the harsh realities that she could not make a better wife for Bram and her failures as a mother, which resulted from the desire for self-fulfillment and social expectations. In one of the flashbacks, Hagar runs to women she befriended when she was younger and is reminded of her constant rejection for an ideal traditional woman behavior. Although Hagar attained her dreams of not being constrained by society, she still has some regrets and has to endure the consequences of her actions since, in reality, it did not turn out as she had expected. Instead, she aged to become a woman with so many regrets in life since she thought she failed as a daughter, wife, and mother. Hagar's desire to become an independent woman made her lose touch with reality. The reality at hand was that society, at the time, defined a woman's role as that of being dependent on their parents and husbands. After getting married to Brampton, Hagar fell from grace since she could not take care of her husband and children as an ideal traditional woman. Besides, she got married to Bram not because she loved him, but she wanted to be rebellious to her father. In effect, Hagar Shipley was "disinherited from her father's will." However, she realized that she had not made some of the best decisions in her life. At one point, Hagar stopped to use the restroom and was shocked by seeing herself in the mirror. She claims that she stood for a long time and wondered what happened that yielded the changes. Her hair was gray and straight, and her face had turned brown and leathery. She says, "The face — a brown and leathery face that wasn't mine" (Laurence123). In a bid to earn self-satisfaction immediately, people are prone to making hasty decisions. However, the chances are that things do not always go as expected. Many times, hasty decisions create numerous and unsolvable problems.

Social Expectations

In pursuit of self-fulfillment, people act based on their feelings and they tend to disregard social expectations and norms. In most cases, social rules and situations often restrict an individual. When trying to divulge from social expectations, people are always in the move towards attaining self-satisfaction. However, deviations may lead to regrets in the future. Hagar's choice of becoming a modern woman who is not defined by femininity and society makes her reality determined by the fact that she could not form attachments with women. The last weeks of her life are characterized by a realization of the dreams she never got to attain and regrets from her pursuit for self-fulfillment, which subjected her to miseries. The first two chapters of the novel contain frozen womanhood symbols, while the previous two chapters feature women, patients, nurses, and nurturers. Hagar's growth and dreams are measured in her last days since she had a changed attitude towards women and had increased her ability to receive motherly love and offer love in return.

She complains to her son, Marvin, and his wife, Doris, that the women's ward is noisy and has no privacy. Hagar says, "I close my eyes and gain for a moment the illusion of privacy. But the noise is fierce" (Laurence 233). However, towards the end, she realizes that she had formed an indomitable bond with the women hence explaining her awakening. At some point, Hagar asserts, "I'd never have dreamed of having anything to do with such people" (Laurence 212). Hagar's perception of womanhood changes when she starts a relationship with two women, Sandra Wong and Don's daughter. Hagar cannot think of anything she has done to help another woman; hence she wakes up amidst the pain and gets a bedpan for her roommate.

The scene shows that Hagar has realized that being a woman does not necessarily mean associating with weakness or assuming passive roles. The changing view of womanhood is reflected in Hagar's life when she forms a strong bond and relationship with her granddaughter. Hagar's new stage in life and her strong feelings towards Tina brings her closer to her mother and the values represented by being a woman. She states, "And yet her face is not unlike my Tina's — a tanned skin, clear and free of blemishes, so simple and vulnerable: (Laurence 136). Hagar's choices made her lose touch with the image of a mother, and they had forced her to wander in the wilderness. Hagar's gifts of the rings is an attempt to love, confirm, and be the example that she lacked.

Conclusion

Thus, the desire to pursue self-fulfillment makes an individual to make decisions and act in a way that alienates them from society. Regrets only become imminent in the later stages in life as one reflects through their lives and starts seeing the affecting and life they missed due to their needs for self-satisfaction. By deviating from society norms, one is expected to do something worthwhile with their lives. However, for Hagar, she made continually many mistakes in her pursuit for self-gratification such that she had to run away from her hometown to avoid embarrassments from her peers and other women in society. The assertions, "But I did not want to embarrass both of us," is proof that Hagar had made regrettable decisions that ruined her life in her pursuit of self-fulfillment (Laurence 120).