Transformed by the 'Magic Secret' - Creative Writing Essay Example

I know it doesn't seem like it, but I wasn't always this cool. Matter of fact, I used to be quite a loser. When you are skinny, lacking in muscle strength, with no great hair or smooth freckle-free complexion, scoring a woman becomes as great a hustle as landing a job during a depression. Do not get me wrong, am not entirely a loser. Am witty and rather artsy enough that I have never lacked much in the way of money. Am not rich, and am not Leonardo Da Vinci, but art critics love my work and it sells enough cheap commercial art to afford me a comfortable existence. Before discovering the secret of the 'magic secret', it was an existence devoid of the all-too-lovely female company.

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I tried everything! From the internet to social parties, blind dates by pitying friends to brazen attempts to pick up girls myself in the streets. Whew! Now that is something I will never miss. See, I tend to sweat when am nervous. And am also a little socially awkward among new people. Picking the courage to walk up to a woman, smile, say hi, and extend my hand was nerve-wracking enough. Having an attractive woman look at me like the fly that landed in her soup just about killed me. Having every woman give me that kind of treatment almost sent me into a suicidal depression.

I guess it was my fault for having high standards. I guess I should have settled and accepted the flirtations of the 57 years old divorcee next-door. She was the only woman who seemed remotely attracted to me other than family, even though I later found out that she just really needed her gutters cleaned after years of neglect. Am just 36, so accepting her advances seemed off even at the time. (Great to see that I had standards even then).

I was among the first people to try internet dating when it first became a craze. Only thing is, it was a sausage fest out there! The few women who dared venture online for mates had their choice of prime males from all walks of life. Sure, I landed a couple of dates with some pretty awesome women, but only a handful cared enough to go out with me after the first time. It was horrible! My life was flashing past me like a bad movie, and there was nothing I could do about it. By the time I learned of the 'magic secret', I was ready to do just about anything to get some action. I readily accepted the help promised, wondering if it would be just like the numerous other products I had tried before.

The transformation was immediate. Even before I went out on the prowl, I could feel it in my blood. I just felt...strong, powerful, and desirable. Suddenly, I had my pick of attractive, sexy, and interesting women. My email became the old trusty where I could just log in, check out tens of women who were emailing me daily, and choose the one I wanted to go out with. Every woman in my inbox was throwing herself at me, apparently not caring that I was older and not as good-looking as they were.

I will admit, I went crazy for a while there. When a guy virtual comes from forced chastity to become a Don Juan, he is bound to lose his head. I did. I really did. The knowledge that I could have a fling or a one-night-stand with any woman I so desired intoxicated me, and I went wild with the excitement. If I recognized any woman who had rejected me from the past in particular, I just had to nail her! Usually, I would take to the hills after having my fill of her never to give her my time of day again. My new, unbridled lifestyle came to a head when I learned about Clarke. Let me tell you about him.

It is pretty much like rereading my story because, in Clarke, I saw a part of myself that I had thought dead. The loser who never scores any dates, a social outcast who was forced to resort to spectating the life of others. I was out having a nice dinner with a very attractive woman who had emailed me a week before. Clarke was sitting a few tables away, alone and looking very morose. He kept thumbing his phone every now and then, making me think that he might have been hoping to meet someone here. I did not pay him much attention, but I remembered all too well the rejections from my previous life. Although a part of me felt for him, I was not eager to share my magic secret with him.

Anyway, who was I to just walk to him and tell him; "Hey buddy, listen. I know this thing..." Remember about my social anxiety?

It was manageable now, but am no hero. I prefer to live and let live. Clarke was just standing to leave when he saw me enjoying the company of the hottest woman in the restaurant. He says he knows me from high school, was a few classes behind, but I could not, for the life of me, remember having seen him before. After throwing me a few popular names from back in the day, I felt that stirring of camaraderie that binds childhood friends. He looked sad, borderline depressed, and very, very jealous of my good fortune. After exchanging contacts and promising to call each other (I personally had no intention of calling), we parted ways and my date progressed awesomely. The encounter soon faded into the history of my awesome new life.

Or not. I never could shake off the feeling that Clarke could use the magic secret that had changed my life so, or that there were numerous other Clarkes out there who also needed my help. Every time I opened my inbox to check out the brand new emails from quality women, I had the same flashback: Me, sitting behind my computer, going through my inbox and deleting a gazillion spam emails. Me, never receiving a single reply to the emails I sent to women on the many online dating sites I frequented. I could very clearly picture Clarke going through the same motions. Questioning his place in the world, wondering what he could probably be doing wrong (probably realizing what after looking in the mirror, but that is not the point) and wondering how he could ever change it all. I finally called him. I finally shared the secret with him. I finally got to receive, two days later, an excited call from Clarke.

"It works, man, it works!"

That was all he said, but I distinctly heard a woman call his name in the background before he hung up. Knowing that I had helped Clarke change his life made me very happy. I was even more confident than before. It was that moment when the superhero overcomes his fears, saves a plane from crashing and killing hundreds of people, and soars into the sky amid great ululations. That was when I realized that helping others was almost as enjoyable as scrolling through the pile-up of unopened emails from beautiful women. My outlook on life changed.

There was this irrational fear I had that the storm of flow of women would stop if I shared the secret with too many people. At that moment, it left me. I knew I could stand out from a million people because 'magic secret' had my back. So I resolved to share the secret with as many people as possible. The magic secret was needed by all those Clarkes out there who, like me, could not score with women even with online dating (especially with online dating). So I searched my mind for the best way to share the great news, then I opened my email.

"Why not get help from one of these beauties?" I thought. It would be both fun and benevolent.

I scrolled through a few emails and selected Robbie because she looked classy and intelligent and totally not because she was the most beautiful women I had ever seen. Somehow, with all the fun things we got to do for our date, I never got around to picking her brain on the matter. But shortly afterward, I had a brainwave. A eureka moment where I knew exactly what I needed to do. It was not something that I could paint as I do with the commercial art pieces from which I make my living, but it was an excellent idea and I was eager to do it. Suddenly, there was nothing I wanted to do more than this thing. And after procrastinating for a while, I finally got to it.

I finally sat down and wrote down the story of my life. The tale of how my life was transformed by the 'magic secret' from Secret Magic Inc. Of how I had seen it help my friend Clarke, and I told you about the sex goddess Robbie who inspired me to write this story...remember her? Oh, I forgot to mention something important about her. She was my first half-Asian woman to go out with. Half-Asian, man!

Anyways, now that you know the secret, you only have yourself to blame for your miserable dating life. Me, I got some beauties waiting for me in my inbox. And now, am off to have me some fun! Adios muchachos!