Some topics are usually not easy to talk about or make people even think you are talking about them. However, for Nancy Friday, these topics are the ones that should be discussed in the society instead of people keeping quite as if they are not happening. Her courage to face these issues has made most of her books be the best selling books all over the globe. For instance, she talks of sexual fantasies in the world and the manner in which they are a reality nowadays than before. The book Beyond My Control is a follow up of her best-selling book My Secret Garden where the majority of the fantasies in the first book can be seen to be practical in the second book. The issues that she was talking about 35 years ago can now be actualized and make the female species feel comfortable during their sexual encounters. The aim of the paper is to discuss the idea of sexy and wild fantasies according to Nancy Fridays concept, which should not be kept a secret as some people might find ideas in the book to be vulgar or taboo.
The Majority of the books that Friday has written have always talked about love, erotic adventures, seduction, and beauty. She was amongst the pioneers of sexual revolution within the female species where she usually talked of the essence of fulfilling the sexual desires, which many might not feel comfortable discussing. Moreover, the book would also gain a following especially those who loved the concept portrayed in the Fifty Shades of Grey as it has a provocative collection of reality fantasies that are explained by different women and men. Her explanations for these fantasies is that the forbidden sex would enable an individual to understand their sexuality through exploring lust, power, and love through the erotic tales that discusses issues related to masturbation, domination, incest, threesomes, exhibitionism, voyeurism and living out of fantasies which are ideas that the book propagates.
The idea of the name My Secret Garden was because 35 years ago there are some issues that people could not talk about unless they were talking about them in secret. The author indicates that these stories were personal to her, and she felt as if the women were secretly whispering to her about their fantasies that they hoped would one day become a reality. These were erotic secrets that people only think about when they are alone, and they might have never talked about them aloud until the moment they talked to the author. The author also indicates that majority of the story tellers would complete their stories by thanking her for listening to them. The idea would mean that Friday was the only person they could talk to as majority of the people would not give them time to complete their stories. At the same time, sexual fantasies are always part of an individuals inner desires and feeling that sometimes should not be explained to others.
At the same time, some words that the book uses should not apply to the normal society. For instance, she indicates that it is writing about sexual desires makes an individual feel close to the flame of their sexuality. The explanation for this is that whenever one listens or talks about sexual desires, they would be more likely to have the same desires and fantasies. Furthermore, she explains the importance of an individual knowing their sexuality and their desires as they would be in a position of knowing how to fulfill them. In the book, she explains,
This is who I amwho I really am! And lookthe sky hasnt fallen, I havent been ostracized from the family, and I feel more complete, whole, part of the human race.(Friday 82)
The perception she portrays indicates that she knows that whatever she is doing is taboo to the society though she is doing it to feel good as it is her body and her family members would have to take it the way it is.
The women were not supposed to explore their sexuality, and they denied themselves the pleasure of exploring their sexual fantasies before the sexual revolution during the twentieth century. The concept might be hard to comprehend especially for the young adults in this century as the majority of them have been made to believe that their sexuality is important, and they should explore them. The psychological question is built on asking where the fantasies go after they are fulfilled during sexual intercourse or post-orgasm. The question might have been difficult to answer, but Friday makes people understand that the desires evaporate after one fulfills the desires through intercourse or masturbation. From the book, one will also realize that Friday is not afraid to talk about the forbidden issues as she updated her earlier foray are put into topics that the public still thinks that are prohibited territories.
The society has always been made to believe that sexual talks should not be talked about in public, or the desires of a person should be personal. However, many people talk about the sexual fantasies where it has become a topic of study by scholars and the media. Many marriage councilors believe that 60% of divorces are as a result of lack of fulfillment of sexual fantasies which result into infidelity. The concept of sexual fantasies can be discussed in a positive or negative perception. For instance, young adults who are growing up might talk about the sexual fantasies to reflect their experiences in the past or engage in talks about their expectation in the future. Before the sexual revolution, sexual fantasies, especially for the women, were abnormal, and the women were not supposed to instigate ideas related to their desires. Furthermore, women were meant to believe that whenever one has sexual fantasies, it would mean that she is deprived of sex, frustrated or lacked adequate stimulation and satisfaction as far as sexual encounters are concerned.
In conclusion, Beyond My Control: Forbidden Fantasies in an Uncensored Age is a collection of stories of sexual fantasies by both men and women. As one reads through, there are many ideas and concepts that would influence sexual fantasies that can be experienced from a personal perspective, which to the society is taboo to talk about. At the same time, the book explores the different natures in which individuals subject themselves to personal desires as some of the fantasies are mundane and bizarre. The confessors also gave impressions that they escaped reality life that is associated with sex as they talked of scenarios that are dangerous or illegal.
Friday, Nancy.Beyond My Control: Forbidden Fantasies in an Uncensored Age. Naperville, Ill: Sourcebooks, 2009. Print.
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