Raising children successfully from the infancy stage to adulthood is one of the most treasured aspirations of parents. For the parents to achieve this objective, they often exercise control in the decisions that their children make as they grow up. As infants, kids attach themselves closely to the parents because they dont know much about the rest of the world. Therefore, virtually all decisions in their lives are determined by the parents. However, the trend changes as children approach the adolescence stage. Adolescents seek attachment to their peers as they explore new environments and form new attachments. The teenagers also grow into young adults, becoming less reliant on the parents for decision making, but parents retain a considerable influence on their decision making process (Fonagy, 2012). Sometimes, this opposing view of life causes disagreements between parents and their children.
Cohabiting with a lover would enable the parties involved to know each other before they make a full commitment to live as husband and wife. There are many aspects of the behaviors of individuals one cannot accurately interpret when two lovers are not staying with each other. The argument put forward is that most partners who live together are likely to get dissatisfied after marriage; there exist exceptions to the same argument. Cohabiting fosters emotional connectedness and also makes the two individuals to learn how to tolerate each other whenever disagreements arise. Also, living with a lover prepares them to handle the challenges that are associated with lack of independence in decision making. Parents may die, meaning children to prepare themselves to face life alone
One of the issues of contention about cohabiting with the loved is the effects of such move on studies. For one to complete studies successfully, it is not a must for them to be in the custody of the parents. Undoubtedly, parents play a significant role in offering emotional, financial and moral guidance for young people to prepare them for the future. The practice of this parental love does not cease because of distance. On the contrary to the fear that studies would be jeopardized, staying with the loved ones provides a better opportunity for self-reexamination and planning in studies. Also, cohabiting enables the parties to share the expenditures, making it easier for the parties overcome economic challenges that cannot be singularly handled. Moreover, necessary actions would be taken to ensure that a cohabiting agreement is in place to protect the parties against any unforeseen eventualities.
Unprepared parenthood presents a lot of challenges to the parties involved in cohabiting. Currently, there exist various birth control mechanisms in the economy of the United States. People who are cohabiting can access recommended birth control drugs and other prescribed methods thanks to the supportive Federal legislations (Ciment, 2015). Such mechanisms would allow proper planning before moving to parenthood. In the same breath, people who cohabit have an opportunity to conduct a formal wedding if they consider it appropriate when officially getting married. It is understandable that the advice against cohabiting stems from a religious background. Even though the religious counsels are well-intentioned, the social realities the modern young person faces cannot be ignored.
Issues have been raised about those individuals who live together before officially getting married. These issues have a reliable backup of statistics and research findings. In spite of these questions, the studies indicate that some happily-married couples went through this process. Living together enables the two lovers to explore each others weaknesses and strengths before making life commitments. It also allows individuals to develop a sense of independence in managing their love affairs away from the parents. Moreover, it gives the involved parties a chance to identify possible abusive relationships and act appropriately before making life commitments are made. However, the guidance of the parents is equally significant since they have real life experience than their children. Thus, the advice they give should be taken seriously because they always desire a better future for their children
Ciment, J. (2015). Social issues in America: An encyclopedia. Armonk, NY: M.E. Sharpe.
Fonagy, P. (2012). Attachment theory and psychoanalysis. London: Karnac.
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