|Type of paper:||Critical thinking|
Main Idea/Thesis: Revise your thesis statement so that it contains an answer to the question you are given in your prompt. Currently, your thesis is missing this. Let's see what you have so far: This will lead to a transformation of the organization considering the changes that take place in the firm internally and externally.
Currently, this thesis restates the topic, but does not respond to the question begin asked of you. In order to revise this, you should provide an answer to this question. This is the question that you are trying to answer, so the thesis should address this specially: Identify a Saudi business that may not yet be focused on sustainability, and imagine that they wish to deliver products that are more socially, environmentally, and economically superior. Describe the total value proposition from a sustainability perspective.
Here is an example of a prompt and response as a model for your revisions:
Prompt: Decide if the argument made by Smith is credible and provide reasons why you think this:
Weak Thesis: The purpose of this paper is to discuss whether or not Smith's argument is credible and why.
Revised thesis providing response to the prompt: Smith's extensive research creates a credible argument that ending foreign aid to African countries is doing more harm than good, and it should be discontinued; the presentation of personal accounts in the article provides strong evidence to support this.
Grammar & Mechanics:
One mechanical error in your paper is with subject / verb agreement particularly with pronouns. Here is an example that contains this error: NAMA Chemicals is one of the leading companies in Saudi Arabia that are in the production and distribution of chemicals.
In this sentence, the word 'one' is the subject of the verb 'are.' Since one is singular, how does this verb need to be revised to agree?
Content Development: I noticed that the body of the paper is missing information that includes non-use values. This is a problem because readers may not see how you have fulfilled the assignment prompt. Currently, the body of the paper includes use values, but it is missing information about non-use values. You can fix this by including paragraphs in the body that show the non-use values for the business' green products. What are the non-use values of the products? How do the non-use values enhance the business' green products? The answers will help you include information in the body of the paper that will show how you have fulfilled the assignment prompt.
Here is an outline you might consider using as a model to reorganize your body:
Section or Paragraph #1 will illustrate point #1 in the prompt: What shows the use values for the businesses' green products?
Section or Paragraph #2 will illustrate point #2 in the prompt: What shows the non-use values?
Section or Paragraph #3 will illustrate point #3 from the prompt; How should the business determine WTP, WTA, or consumer surplus?
If you have three reasons or examples to include, you'll have three body sections: one for each supporting point. Use the explanations and examples above to create and organize paragraphs for your paper, and add them to the body of the paper.
Introduction/Conclusion: I also see that your paper is missing a concluding paragraph. Because of this, your readers may not remember your main idea that sustainability can be ensured by ensuring consumer value or see how your supporting ideas are connected. Your essay currently ends with a body section about use values, but it is missing a conclusion that restates the main idea and that sums up your body paragraphs' topics and shows how they are tied together. To give your essay more closure, you will need to add sentences that sum up your body section topics to your conclusion at the end of your draft. You can write these sentences by following these steps:
First, write a sentence that summarizes your main idea. What do you want readers to know about sustainability in a green business?
Next sum up the first body section topic. How does your first body paragraph show how use value ensures sustainability?
In addition, write a sentence that sums up your second body section topic. What is the way non-use values help sustainability in body section two?
Finally, sum up your last section topic in a sentence. How does this section show How the business should determine WTP, WTA, or consumer surplus?
Along with the restatement of the main idea, if you have three body sections, you will need to add three sentences to your final paragraph. Using these guidelines and examples, add sentences to your last paragraph that sum up your body sections' topics. Your conclusion should be a recap of the main points of your paper. Currently, your conclusion contains only a brief statement about the main idea of this paper.
The concluding paragraph should bring the essay to a close. There should not be new information presented here. Because you begin offer new information, this paragraph does not fit the definition of a conclusion.
The best way to revise this would be to develop a final paragraph that summarizes the main points you made throughout the paper and provide closing thoughts for the reader. This can be placed after the current final paragraph.
Further, I noticed that you are sometimes using more words than you need to express your ideas in your sentences. When unnecessary words are part of a sentence, readers may become distracted from what the sentence intends to say. You can fix the problem by replacing the unnecessary words in phrases such as 'as a whole' and 'in a position' with one word to create more concise sentences. Which sentences are stronger without extra words? What sentences do not need phrases such as 'as a whole' and 'in a position'' because the reader already expects their implications? You can use the answers to these questions to help you remove unnecessary words from your sentences.
To help you delete introductory phrases from your sentences, here are some examples of sentences and revisions in which unnecessary opening words are removed;
Instead of - As a whole, he couldn't understand their ideas.
Consider stating - He couldn't understand their ideas.
Instead of - Jane was in the position of winning the race.
Consider stating - Jane was able to win the race.
In the revised examples above, I've removed 'as a whole' because the phase is not necessary for the sentence's meaning, and I've replaced 'in the position of' with 'able to' for the same reason.
Here is an example of a sentence from your paper with my words, blanks, and comments. Finish the sentence with your own words and add it or another sentence in your own words to the paper.
It will identify ways in which the company does not focus on sustainability and the realization by the management team on the need to start considering the needs of customers and environment _________. (Is 'as a whole' necessary for the meaning of the sentence? Would the sentence be damaged if you did not include the phrase?)
After you have completed the sentence above, you can use the lessons and examples to help you delete unnecessary phrases or replace them with one word. Summary of Next Steps:
Develop a thesis that responds to the prompt
Develop a concluding paragraph
Revise errors in subject / verb agreement
Reorganize the body of the paper by using an outline
Include a last paragraph conclusion at the paper's end
Include only the words that are necessary for the meaning of the sentence
Total Value and Sustainability Products-630
Total Value and Sustainability Products-630
A business in Saudi that is not focused on Sustainability
Total value is an ideology applied in a business where an organization focuses its attention on the customer and engages in activities that add quality to the products and services provided to the consumers in the long-term (AlSaleh & Taleb, 2010). Therefore, in every stage of production, the management must ensure that value addition is considered with the aim of benefitting the consumer and ensuring the highest form of satisfaction as well as retention of clients. The management considers total value addition with the aim of improving sustainability in both the short-term and long-term. The management of an organization is the final decision-maker, and it considers the interests of consumers before engaging in any move (Yang, Vladimirova, & Evans, 2017). For the study, this paper will focus on NAMA Chemicals, one of the leading producers and suppliers of chemicals in the United Arab Emirates. It will identify ways in which the company does not focus on sustainability and the realization by the management team on the need to start considering the needs of customers and environment as a whole. This will lead to a transformation of the organization considering the changes that take place in the firm internally and externally. NAMA chemical extensive research create credible argument that include inclusion of total value and sustainable products in a n organization will help improve performance and service delivery; the presentation of argument in the paper provides a strong argument to support this.
NAMA Chemicals is a leader in the production and supply of chemical in the United Arab Emirates. The company also engages in petrochemical businesses supplying the local and international market with its commodities. The management of the organization engages in strategic decisions that help the firm grow and expand its clientele base while meeting international standards of chemical production. Some of the strategic decisions include the means to capture new customers and expand the activities of the company in both the local and international markets. Despite the level of success of NAMA Chemicals in the country, little attention has been given to sustainability and consideration of how the firm can make fruitful efforts to support the environment and the community (Vladimirova and Evans, 2017). This has made the management of the organization think of ways in which they can consider sustainability in the decision-making process with the aim of improving the lives of all people and the environment at large. Economically superior products are price friendly, and an organization does not compromise on the quality since it focuses on maintaining a relationship with the customers. Production of economically superior products is expensive for the company but since it can be able to break even and make a significant amount of profit, then it justifies its continuance in the manufacture of such commodities.
The management of an organization understands that it must align the goals and objectives of the firm with the ideas developed in sustainability concepts. This is because every aspect of the organization must commit itself towards the change process taking place in the organization. When every employee is committed towards sustainability, then it will be easier to reach all goals within the shortest time possible. The management ensures that employees are committed as they provide incentives for handwork and those working overtime. Some of the considerations that NAMA Chemicals can have as they focus on products that are superior regarding the economy, social perception, and environment have a better understanding of sustainability and how it will affect their businesses both in the short-term and long-term (Epstein & Buhovac, 2014).
The first step is an identification of the stakeholders and understanding how they will feel the effect of measures taken towards sustainability. For instance, the stakeholders at NAMA Chemicals are the shareholders, the government, and other people who rely on the organi...
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