Essay Example on Dark Side of Communication. Critical Assay, on Cinderella Complex

Narcissism is a term that describes any person with an inflated sense of self-worth. An individual that exhibits narcissistic traits has a personality disorder referred to as Narcissistic Personality disorder. Personality disorder alters one's way of thinking, behavior, and relation to others. Narcissism and norm violation are related because narcist people exhibit immoral behaviors such as assault, vandalism, and theft. This condition is termed to be problematic and a socially aversive personality trait. Narcissism is linked to grandiosity patterns that are a reflection of the behaviours portrayed towards oneself and others. The narcissism concepts term self-admiration, self-love, and self-aggrandizement as examples of an individual's attitude towards themselves. Norm is the accepted manner of doing something. Norm violation refers to forms of actions that are not deemed right by some people. Norm violation goes against doing what is right. The people who violate norms engage in activities that are considered unethically immoral by society. In this regard, Narcissism and norm violation are related because narcissists usually disregard social etiquette norms. For instance, narcissists have a higher likelihood of bragging, being aggressive to others, and also use offensive language while communicating with others. Cinderella Complex, a book by Colette Dowling, elaborates on the psychological dependency syndrome in women.

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According to Saha and Safri (119), Cinderella complex gives insight into the theoretical roots of women's dependency. Traditionally, it was unlikely for women to confront fear. Women have continuously been encouraged to avoid anything that scares them. They have been taught these ideas from birth; only to engage in activities that make them feel comfortable. Perhaps, women were not at all trained for freedom; instead, they were trained for dependency. This has normalized the dependency needs of both men and women. The women's dependency encouragement on men is now a disease because society considers it physiologically unhealthy. Women can ascertain that they were never taught to take care of themselves, stand for themselves and asserting themselves. Contrary, men's education is based on independence from birth. For females, they are let to know they have options that one time they will be rescued from independent living. The Cinderella complex also termed as Cinderella syndrome shows women's belief of them to being damsels in distress in need of getting rescue from a male suitor. Women have the tendency of waiting for a man to marry them and take full control of their day to day activities to live happily. Cinderella complex is the fear which makes women not to make full use of their minds because of waiting for an external event to transform their lives (120). Cinderella complex name is gotten from the Cinderella's fairy tale. Dependency is illustrated when princess Cinderella waits to be rescued her prince charming from the evil stepmothers and stepsisters. This troy has many aspects of Narcissism. After the passing away of her father, Cinderella falls into the narcissistic family of his stepmother and sister. One need of a narcissist is superior. This was depicted by Cinderella's mother and two stepsisters. Both fancied themselves to be as superior as Cinderella. This stirs up jealousy; they start to make fun of her to the point of treating her like a servant. A lot of the fairy tale's modern adaptations place gender expectations on women. Perrault's Cinderella gives an example of how a princely man can rescue the heroine of a story through the aid of outward forces.

In the Cinderella complex, Cinderella bears no grudges against people oppressing her. Instead, she is civil and kind hearted. A woman is let to know that for her to overcome the oppression, there is a need for patience to wait for a reward. This endurance comes in the form of a man. Therefore, women are taught about dependency. The stories assumption is for women to be beautiful, obedient, polite and industrious. Cinderella is a patriarchal instrument which produces and nurtures a psychological dependence in women. For women to be virtuous, they must have attributes such as beauty. If they lack such feminine qualities, they feel guilty. Therefore, this makes them rely on dependency, which acts as a source of freedom. In Cinderella, the prince validates the qualities of a woman through admiration. The site of the prince makes the woman's insecurities and hardships to vanish. With the internalization of Cinderella complex into their minds, such families tend to believe that obeying other people's will enable them to win a ''prince'' who they will forever live happily. Cinderella complex conditions are linked to individuals who have emotional issues such as dependency issues and low self-esteem. Most women suffering from Cinderella complex find it difficult to accept men in a healthy way. Instead of viewing men as normally flawed individuals, they rather idolize them; the idolization results in unrealistic expectations which are difficult to meet. Someone with such unrealistic expectations is easily wounded emotionally by behaviours. Low self-esteem and dependency are the primary cause of the Cinderella complex in women. However, some psychologists associate it with overprotective parenting. Some parents punish their children for displaying independence signs. Also, women with Cinderella complex are usually discriminated against by the society resulting in low self-esteem.

There is a link between Narcissism and use of abusive language, which is one of the norm violations. According to Adams et al (28), lots of studies have proven the fact that narcissists disregard social norms. Narcissists people tend to use abusive languages often than non-narcissists. The use of abusive language by a narcissist can be justified through two reasons. First, they use offensive language in order to attract attention. The study by Adams (29), avails proof that narcissist often applies offensive language to attract attention because the relationship between Narcissism and the frequency of offensive language was twice as large within the representation of participants using abusive language to grab attention more. In addition, participants of narcissism had a higher likelihood of viewing offensive language when they were not sensitive to such language's offensiveness. Moreover, the narcissism and offensive language usage relationship were proven by how the narcissists were insensitive to it. Therefore, consistent with the notion of narcissists using offensive language to gain attention, the likelihood of narcissists was very high. Narcissists perceive abusive language as being less offensive than non-narcissists which is also one of the mechanisms of enhancing the use of offensive language.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the Cinderella complex has illustrated how women escape from responsibilities. Women are made to understand that they should not worry in case of anything because men will swoop in and save the day. This is a way of escaping from all types of responsibilities; including of emotional and financial responsibilities. At one time, a man will chip in and take care of a woman's needs, and hence there will be no reason for working anymore. Cinderella's stepmother and sisters have portrayed Narcissism towards Cinderella because of jealousy. Cinderella is persecuted because she threatens to puncture their narcissism bubble. Indeed, it is a bubble because narcissists tend to build grandiose self-estimation on a foundation that is rather not secure. They haven't earned self-esteem; however, it has just been bestowed on them, especially by narcissistic parents. Due to the fact of the bubble is thin, it can be easily punctured. For a long time, Cinderella gets persecution from their stepmother and sisters. This has serious implications because when a child receives chronic maltreatment, their personality gets crushed, making them possess specific attributes such as anger. These children become angry as they cannot express their anger because of the powerful nature of their prosecutors. Like in the story of Cinderella, narcissists tend to persecute people who arouse jealousy, invoke fear and threaten superiority. This may apply to anyone, a daughter, son with more talented and more intelligence. It is challenging for narcissists to contain their jealousy. Talented people cannot help it; they are who they are, exceptional and brilliant. However, this is regarded differently by narcissistic parents who view these children as people deliberately trying to outdo them. Narcissism results in different treatments. In the same way, Cinderella was a subject to lousy treatment, unlike the others as she was regularly abused and bullied. This makes Cinderella grow up with guilt about the talents she possesses that others lack.

Work Cited

Adams, John Milton, et al. "Why do narcissists disregard social-etiquette norms? A test of two explanations for why narcissism relates to offensive-language use." Personality and Individual Differences 58 (2014): 26-30.

Saha, Sneha, and Tanishka S. Safri. "Cinderella Complex: Theoretical Roots to Psychological Dependency Syndrome in Women." The International Journal of Indian Psychology ISSN (2016): 2348-5396.