|Type of paper:||Essay|
|Categories:||Psychology Personality Social psychology|
Essay About Forgiveness
According to me, forgiveness is the act of changing feelings by a victim regarding an offense and letting go of negative emotions, something that I have been struggling with for as long as I can remember. I have not always believed in forgiving others especially when they deliberately and consciously hurt me. Over the years, forgiveness has been something that I have been struggling with persistently. When I was in 5th grade, there were three girls in my class who did not like me yet I never wronged them. They didn't like me because they thought that I was smart and cute. They used to refer to me as ugly or stupid, and would always criticize my dressing. They used to fight me in the bathroom, outside at recess or anytime the teacher left the room. They were mean spirited, and I hated them, in fact, I had no desire to forgive them. All I wanted was to get back at them and treat them like they treated me. I had many more painful experiences in high school. Girls would tell lies about me, gossip and even bully me on social media to the point that I stopped getting on some social media sites altogether. I held grudges for a very long time towards many people.
Growing up, I observed that my dad had difficulties in forgiving people that deeply hurt him. My mom, on the other hand, was all about peace and forgiveness. She never let the little things people did get to her. She believed that not forgiving had a negative effect on a person's physical, mental and spiritual health. She still believes that there are people who are physically ill because of not forgiving. I only loved my friends and would get sick whenever I lied to a friend and he\she found out that I was not truthful. I wouldn't eat, sleep or concentrate and got miserable if he\she wasn't willing to forgive me and I could not forgive myself.
I later came to learn that I had to stop dwelling on the past and let go the grudges and pain. I was able to get to a place where I could forgive. For me, letting go and forgiving people who had previously wronged me was one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do. I had to start listening to my inner self and change my ways. I had to be an example to other people including those that had hurt me in the past. A complete change of heart made my life change for the better. I wanted to love and forgiveness to flow through me to the people that hurt me, and whenever I did that, all of my anger and pain left. Love and forgiveness became a part of me and my new identity. I learned that when I let love and forgiveness become a part of me, I mature and change in so many ways.
Importance Of Forgiveness Essay
I believe that since I have been forgiven by others including the friends whom I wronged, I should also find it in me to forgive. I don't think that I would have changed my mind about forgiving other people if I hadn't had a change of heart. Forgiveness was something that took me a while to tackle, but once I learned to forgive, I felt so much better inside. I believe in forgiveness and that the lives of people can be transformed for good through forgiveness.
I began to see people differently and realized that so long as we are human, we all deserve a second chance. I had to stop re-living the pain and realized it is called the past because it's over. I did my part and let it go for good. If there is something I would advise someone reading this essay, is that I believe that it would be beneficial for them to forgive, and love those who have hurt them I have learned that by not forgiving others, I was only hurting myself even more.
I now understand better what my mother meant when she said that not forgiving had a negative effect on someone's health as I feel unburdened. Forgiving my bullies and those who undermined me has been fulfilling. I no longer have to live with hatred in my heart which fills me with joy. In this way, I follow my beliefs and bring about a positive change to those around me. I feel free as I do not need to think of the pain and how to cause pain just to get my vengeance; instead, my focus is on how I can challenge others through living an exemplary life. This gives me a one-on-one connection with other people.
I believe that choosing not to forgive has a cost. The constant thought of pain does not give a person the piece of mind. It also has an effect on how someone relates with others. For instance, one can choose not to associate with friends and family of those who caused him/her pain. This means that that person is only extending hatred and depriving themselves of happiness. Forgiveness, on the other hand, brings a sense of satisfaction. It frees someone's spirit and brings about inner peace. I am free and happy because am filled with positivity and love for my friends and enemies.
Making a Decision to Forgive Summary Essay
In the article, “making a decision to forgive, ” the authors clearly elaborates the process involved when making a decision to forgive and the present studies conducted to come up with a measure of making a decision to forgive. The authors are concerned and mainly focus on differentiating making a decision to forgive from the achieved level of forgiveness. The authors explain the process of forgiveness which entails two parts. The first one is making a decision to forgive and the second part is about learning policies to promote forgiveness based on the particular theoretical model. It is important to note that the authors have discussed the three studies conducted during measuring of making the decision to forgive.
In the first survey, the method used was involving 432 participants both men and women from a university in southeastern U.S who completed the study and filled questionnaires and demographic questions the students also recalled particular offense and assessed how coped and perceived the social context of the offense. Then after data collection, a measure was conducted by the decision that participants made to forgive, forgiveness, and stage of change forgiveness (Davis, Hook, Van Tongeren, DeBlaere, Rice & Worthington, 2015).The last part was the findings and discussion of the results that showed making a decision to forgive are different from the forgiving process and provided initial evidence of the validity of DTFS(Decision to Forgive Scale) about TRIM(transgression-Related Interpersonal Motivation scale). In the study, two 80 students were involved from the same place, and identified offenses within the past three months, pointed out consent online and a followed up by email. Then measures followed, and finally, discussion and results provided additional evidence of reliability and validity of DTFS that decision to forgive is different from existing level of forgiveness. The authors conducted the final study which consisted of 335 students from the same university. They outlined offense committed by religious leaders and the research the measures followed and finally the results and discussion which showed that DTFS is negatively related to TRIM and decision to forgive moderates the relation between existential distress and forgiveness and is related to TRIM. The authors tell us that they found out DTFS and TRIM are distinct constructs (Davis, Hook, Van Tongeren, DeBlaere, Rice & Worthington, 2015).
A lot of research has been done in the past years about forgiveness, but there is still need for more research to be done. Studies focus more on making a decision to forgive, but people do not know much about the construct. The authors have clearly outlined the process of forgiveness and conduct three types of research from a University to measure how people make decisions to forgive. They found out that TRIM and DFTS are different constructs and they used them during their surveys to measure and come up with results of how people make a decision to forgive.
Davis, D. E., Hook, J. N., Van Tongeren, D. R., DeBlaere, C., Rice, K. G., & Worthington Jr, E. L. (2015). Making a decision to forgive. Journal of counseling psychology, 62(2), 280.
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