Free Essay: Why Men Hate Going To Church by David Murrow

Published: 2023-07-13
Free Essay: Why Men Hate Going To Church by David Murrow
Type of paper:  Essay
Categories:  Sexes Christianity Church
Pages: 8
Wordcount: 1962 words
17 min read

The main purpose of the book Why Men Hate Going To Church by David Murrow is to explore and explain the reasons why most men do not attend church services, leading to the changing church demographics and how to completely get men back to church. David Murrow was born and raised in Texas, but since 1985 he has lived in Alaska. Murrow is an award-winning television producer and writer based in the State. He is a bestselling author and a director of the Church for Men, which is an organization that assists churches link with boys and men. The title of the book is so straight forward. Murrow posits that after years of worshipping in various churches including orthodox, mainline protestant, Roman Catholic, Pentecostal, and Evangelical churches he realized that no matter the name, women are more inside the churches. And argues that these gap in gender was a problem Christianity did not want to acknowledge. Indeed, modern thinking views the church leadership as sexist and patriarchal and suggests that it is women who have been excluded and alienated. But Murrow admits that the top level of the clergy profession is led by men, but they are dominated by women and their values'. This paper will review the book Why Men Hate Going To Church by David Murrow.

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Part 1 (Chapters 1-6): Modern Churches are Deficient in Men

In these chapters, the author cites many surveys that in most if not all, church associated activities constitute more women than men, usually from 60 to 80 percent of the congregants. Thus, this drives home the point that women are majority worshippers in the church and all its activities despite the lack of clarity whether the data is scientific or not. Murrow claims seem true since this pattern is not limited to the modern USA, but it is a global trend with a few probable exceptions in Asia and Eastern Europe. The Gender gap is true for Protestants and Catholics globally. It also holds for the rapidly growing Pentecostal churches in Latin American and Africa. In contrast, the author posits that there is no such gender chasm in other religions including Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, and Judaism. I find this point very interesting although Murrow does not further document it at all. Thus, Murrow writes that it is only Christianity that has a frequent distressing deficiency of male believers.

Murrow posits that Christian churches have an anti-male culture. He argues that the church's "spiritual thermostats' are set for women, which means that they are set for comfort rather than a challenge (6). Christian church's teachings tend to emphasize more on children and family, nurturance, sensitivity, security, and relationships which are not appealing to men. In fact, men tend to think that women are more suited to make more smart and qualified decisions in these areas. Hence, men's attitudes towards church have altered viewing the church as a womanly place. Murrow alludes that those men are warriors and hunters and need challenges to fill their masculinity bank (37), while women are hunters and gatherers. Further, he claims that men cannot sit still but have an urge to being outdoors, they are not verbal and cannot read and sing at the same time. They crave danger, risk, adventure, and heroic sacrifices due to their value of boldness. They love competition, action, tools, and technology. Murrow believes that all these characteristics of men are what keeps them away from worshipping in churches. And the most affected are the young unmarried men.

Thus, Murrow's topic is pressing provided the female preeminent membership of most churches. These many aspects of church life today have indeed discouraged men's engagement and attendance worldwide. Murrow resolves that Christianity has altered its style, which is comfortable for the conventional woman at the expense of the stereotypical man. The author pits masculine men, those who are visionary, risk-takers, and high achievers who do not attend church against the quiet, introspective men who populate the church today. Therefore, the current elements of the contemporary church are not attractive to men in comparison with religious men in the bible such as Moses, David, Elijah, and Daniel, Paul, and Peter who were like lions, not lambs (47). They used to take charge and risked their lives in serving God, fighting valiantly, and spilling blood. These men in the bible spoke their minds and stepped on the toes of religious people. They were tough, feared, respected, and true leaders of the community. In truth, these men were not saintly and had an intense commitment to God, which lacks in the modern church making it unattractive to men.

Chapter 7-14: Reasons Men Hate Going to Church

In these chapters, Murray explores the reasons why men do not go to church. Murrow believes that Christianity has been feminized; Men view the church as ladies' clubs. Murrow's solution is to restore a masculine ethos, which most clergies agree with. Therefore, the church by becoming a place where most people are women, it has positively emphasized on the traits that are more stereotypically attributed to women, that is, emotional expression of feelings and nurturing that makes men uncomfortable (105). For instance, Murrow points out that children's ministry as we know it today did not exist as an essential part of church life. In essence, the reason why Sunday school has become foundational in almost all churches is because of the need for women to nurture the children and mold them into religious essence, Murrow concludes that the church today has become weak and cowardly. Therefore, Christianity today is being presented in a package that is female-oriented. As such, the author is right about the Christian industrial complex.

According to Murray, Christianity has softened since the day of the puritans. Puritans were a group of people who were discontented in the Church of England and strived towards moral and religious reforms leading to Protestantism (Hambrick-Stowe 2013). They believed that the bible was the true law of God and it provided a plan for living. Murrow shows that the contemporary church is more emotional than they were in the 1700s. I think this because in the 1700s the men and women worshipped together in equal propositions with the men holding the leadership positions. However, the modern church has more women; thus, pastors tend to teach and preach the message that will attract more congregants who are women. Besides, women seem to be more spiritual than men and keep the ministry machine going. in truth, Women are the backbone of the church in most cases. Murray depicts women as the largest consumers of Christian products in comparison to men.

Most men who attend church service feel that the worship leaders try to manipulate them emotionally. During worship the service may be emotional with the crowds of people, music, turning a person's attention to God, and the aura of God's majesty can develop intense feelings of anticipation, joy, or sorrow. Whereby some people weep, others laugh, while some are unmoved. Nonetheless, the problem arises when worship leaders make concerted attempts to alter the emotions of the congregation to coerce specific behavior. Emotional manipulation can be harmful to some people and hijacks true worship. Murray in Part two engraves that, "the great hymns summon men to battlefield, but most of the modern praise and worship songs seem to summon men to the bedroom (69)." Therefore, since emotions are highly individualized, that is, unique, varied, and complicated as the people who experience, worship leaders should not try to manipulate. As such, men tend to not attend this worship service they do not require emotions in worship and are seldom carried away by emotions. Therefore, worship leaders should not try to manipulate others' emotions during worship.

Chapter 15-25: Prescriptions

In these chapters, Murrow suggests prescriptions to the reason why men hate going to church. He affirms that the church needs to reengage with men. He posits that men who want to follow Christ should do so willingly. And when they are willing to give up everything to follow Christ. He quotes the Bible about the man who wanted to follow Christ and Jesus told him that he will be homeless if he follows him (Matthew 10), which shows that Christianity should not be comfortable as it is today. Murrow shows that Jesus was insensitive when he rebuked two of his disciples, one wanted to bury his father while the other wanted to say goodbye to his family (169). Thus, men should be challenged into the Lord's Kingdom. Also, Murrow, recommends that the clergymen should never beg or plead just like Jesus never did to attract followers. In this way, they will be able to attract men back to church. However, the modern evangelical churches beg people to be saved, which makes is so familiar that men do not see value in it. Also, the pastors should teach about the reward of serving Christ. Jesus taught about his disciples about the eternal reward of following them (170).

Moreover, the modern church should reduce the women's velvet veto that often drives men out of the church without even knowing it. Also, married women should not force their men to church. Men should be recruited to lead in churches by setting aside a position for them (Murrow 177). And women should not brag about their spiritual superiority to men. Murrow implies that women clergy numbers should be checked since the high number ordained translates to lesser women to men ration in the church through the creation of a softer church and lack of example to boys driving them out the church. On the one hand, men are the least religious when they need to be manly is the greatest particularly during their teenage and young adults. On the other hand, men worship in the church when need to prove their manly is weakest that is in childhood and old age.


Murrow's expressive analysis is eye-opening and provokes the great masculine characteristic of wanting to provide solutions. Yet to solve the reducing men in the church, demands people to determine which aspects of life in the church are inappropriately distasteful and which are due to the church's mission. In this light, Murrow's book underserves its audience since his conclusion does not engage with the church Devine mission. He does not establish the power of the gospel by acting in a manner that is utterly distinct from the world. In truth, Murrow's book ignores the God-given distinctiveness and the power of the gospel that propagates it. For instance, Murrow suggests that to win more men in the church, we should request them to use their gifts in the church even if they are not yet saved (209). I am afraid that requesting non-Christians to serve as a part of the church regular ministry would lead to confusion about the distinction between the church and the world. Therefore, Murrow's prescriptions are flawed since the church is not about making worldly men feel comfortable instead its objective is to corporately stage the Lord's glory to a collapsed world.

Murrow ignores the power of the gospel to attract both men and women to follow Christ. the book investigates the reasons why men do not go to church but forgo an important element which is the role men going to church have in attracting new men members. Murrow observes that megachurches have a less male-female gap than small churches; he questions the motive of men attending large churches. Do they attend since it huge or makes it huge? This question seems like he is suggesting that men can change other lives if only men attend. However, Murrow ignores, the ability of the word of God to alter people's life when it is believed, preached, and lived out.

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