Self-Awareness: Personal Traits. Paper Example

Published: 2023-02-07
Self-Awareness: Personal Traits. Paper Example
Type of paper:  Essay
Categories:  Personality Consciousness Relationship
Pages: 3
Wordcount: 655 words
6 min read

Pygmalion Project is the essence of trying to change the temperaments of our loved ones to be the same as ours. It is based on the assumptions that those who are important to us should behave just like us, perceive things as we do and also have the same kind of aims and goals that we hold. It usually occurs from different types of relationships, such as between marriage partners and even between other family members. However, the Pygmalion theme can be detrimental in an interpersonal relationship.

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Trying to change an individual can prevent the partners from communicating honestly on critical issues in a relationship. Butterfield (2017) asserted that most people concentrate much on the aspect of trying to change the temperaments in their partners. However, it is not possible to change the nature of a partner. Nevertheless, this does not mean that a partner will openly confess that he/she cannot change. As such, what will happen is that the partners will become more alienated since the more a partner tries to change the characters of the other, the more the other partner feels uncomfortable making him/her limit genuine communication among them. This will deny them a chance to honestly talk about other important issues which threated such a relationship.

Trying to change our partners can also inhibit our ability to practice forgiveness. When we are in a relationship, we will always have a different perspective. Other people behaviors can sometimes hurt our feelings. The intensity of hurt we experience is relative to our ability to forgive and move on. It is based on coming up with a more realistic view that your partner cannot be similar to you; hence, you should not condemn his/her nature instead seek to understand. It is based on the realization that we cannot be the same, and no one is perfect. However, a belief that you can change your partner will only lead to disappointment and annoyance (Gottman & Silver, 2015). This can cause a permanent separation or continuous conflict in a relationship.

In a marriage, trying to change your partner can lead to a divorce. The reason why a partner may concentrate on changing a partner nature is a belief that this can be possible, which is not practical. The negative aspect of trying to change a partner is that it involves constant criticizing a partner. However, according to Gottman (2018), criticism is the primary cause of divorce in a relationship. This is yet different from voicing a complaint or voicing a critique. Criticizing involve cutting to the core of a partner's character. This hurt their feelings, which will lead to a divorce.

Trying to change a partner temperament can also make them forget the aspects that attracted them to their partners in the first place. According to Keirsey (1998), certain elements attract individuals to each other, leading to marriage. They build the foundation of a relationship or marriage. These aspects remain strong during honeymoon but start before partners start realizing their differences. At this point, focusing on changing a partner will only mean disappointment as it can't work. This will make partners forget what attracted them to each other, making them feel incompatible.

Trying to change one another can be detrimental to a relationship. This is based on the fact that individuals cannot change their nature even if they pretend that they can. Attempting to change one another hurts a relationship such as poor communication, lack of trust, disappointment, and alienation. The result will hence be conflict or separation.


Butterfield, E. M. (2017). Shared Leadership in Marriage.Gottman, J. M., & Gottman, J. S. (2018). The Science of Couples and Family Therapy: Behind the Scenes at the" Love Lab". WW Norton & Company.

Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2015). The seven principles for making marriage work: A practical guide from the country's foremost relationship expert. Harmony.Keirsey, D. (1998). Please understand me II: Temperament, character, intelligence. Prometheus Nemesis Book Company.

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