Attachment theory has undergone a formidable research by a psychologist to help analyze the aspects of human behavior into their various activities. So far as the human relationship is concerned a comprehensive study has been made and scientific data collected when it comes to human affection bonds. This paper seeks to give light on the understanding of different scientific research findings towards relationships. The study involves how the data helps to make predictions on what determines a potential partner in a relationship, how the relationship is formed, how it is maintained, what makes it substantial, and the way they are dissolved and why. The study is in light with the freedom that individuals have to come and go, to be apart or to be close in relation to our daily lives.
John Bowlby, a modern psychologist had published an article entitled forty-four juvenile thieves: their personality and home-based life, which indicated a robust affiliation between early maternal parting and succeeding felony among the boys. It stated that an early age of maternal separation precisely through the first 3 years of life would put kids in jeopardy of mental illness (Bowlby, 1980). His attachment theory went through further publications in which he considers the presumption that human infants can survive if only they get a grownup who is enthusiastic to guard and take care of them. The attachment theory stipulates that by around six months of life, normal newborns selectively direct their behavior to a single person with whom they seek proximity and from whom they vehemently object being separated (Schaffer, 1964). This person is basically the one who normally respond to their distress signals. According to Bowlby attachment being an essential part of humanoid conduct, beginning from the cradle to the grave, basically, they are conjectured to be the same across the life span. In short, humans are predisposed to form close relations, with elementary needs such as the need for security with the most formidable being the need to be satisfied with the relationship. The behavioral systems mentioned by Bowlby help us understand the dynamics of relationships. Which when interrupted during the critical two years of a child may critically affect the child leading to a long- term intellectual, social, and emotive problems for the child. From the attachment theory, we get to understand that human beings have needs that ought to be satisfied by the social relationships such as emotional support and sexual gratification. In accordance with the theory people get attracted to people who display certain social cues, the attachment figure is basically selected during infancy and childhood which gives out familiarity.
Hazan and Shaver also made observation towards the adult romantic relationship as being characterized by the same dynamics as mentioned above. Seemingly adults tend to be safe and more protected when their companion is close, emotionally available and receptive. Hazan and Shaver, 1990) stipulate that one's partner can be a safe base from which the setting can be explored more comfortably or engage in other projects. Their argument was that a partner will use their companion as a source of safety or comfort when they feel sick or distraught. The replicas of attachment proceed to give guidance and form one's relationship through their lives (Feldman Barrett, 2000). Their theory envisages that as people engage in new relationships daily they tend to rely on their prior prospects in what way others are most likely to act and feel towards them. Such simulations are used to build the goals and purposes of their partners. With respect to the theory, early childhood care of familiarities affect in portion how persons behave in their mature loving relationships. In Hazan and Shaver's point of view, passionate relationship can easily be unstated as a joint working of the behavior schemes which are: attachment, caregiving, and sex. In short secure people are more likely to be poised in exploring new relationships if they are firmly attached to their parents.in the study ambivalent attachment is displayed by an obsessive preoccupation with a romantic companion responsiveness. According Hazan and Shaver 1987) such individuals tend to experience a high rate of relationship dissolution, they also get jealous, anxious and live in fear while still in relationships (Collins, 1990).The avoidant attachment is displayed by the pessimistic view of the relationship among the individuals and a relatively high rate of relationship dissolution.
Basically, as far as the attachment theory is concerned, I tend to concur with the sentiments of the above- named psychologists. Going back to my personal experience my brother and I, we were born consecutively within a span of 6 years. We had different childhood experiences in that during my brother's childhood he was separated from our mother in his early age since or she had to go to work every day. He was forced to go in baby day-care at an early age of six months which meant schooling began so early for him. In contrast, my experience was different since our mother had resigned her job by the time I was being born. I spent most of my childhood time with her, experiencing a very minimal separation from her. When we bring this into reality my experience for some reason has helped me secure good relationships in a more stable pattern. Concentrating on the observable cues of my relationships I have always aligned myself to the most on the fulfilments of my childhood relationship which was affectionate caring, fulfilling, and acceptable. There has been a concurrent overlap of my relationship security in comparison with my childhood and that of my spouse. I find it tranquil to get attached to a sexual romantic companion making it easier for me to enjoy an extensive variety of sexual activities but in the framework of a long-term affiliation. From my brother's side, he has been very unsuccessful when it comes to relationships. He views partners as reluctant to commit who are inadequate in giving care. Many times he has been through many breakups for various reasons some of them being he asserts his own feelings without regard to his partner's needs and feelings. He has more fear of abandonment and neglect which probably has led to his heightened vigilance which has contributed to his non-attachment activities.
In my relationship decision making, I select partners with believe that they are in a position conform to my attachment- related expectations. I tend to have more confidence and trust towards their response on my expectations giving an assurance to self- felt security. I tend to think my childhood imprints have affected how my relationships run especially the close attachment that I had with my mother. The patterns issued in the relationship formation clearly stipulate how adults who were not deprived from their mothers at an early age tend to have a healthy and more sustainable relationship unlike those who were separated at an early age.
Argumentatively the evidence explained would be apparently out of nurture since our relationship characteristics would have been the same had it come from genetics being that we were born from the same parents. The other fact is the adaptation strategies developed by my brother for his lonely life as a child which in this dimension is insecurity probably would have been different if he was put in different in the current social life if he had gone under a separate experience. The other evidence which proves my point is we look alike and have the same physical texture which is likely to mean our genetics would be the same prompting us to behave the same which is currently not the case.
Bowlby, J (1980),Attachment and loss: sadness and depression, New York basic
Schaffer, H. R, & Emerson, P,E (1964) The Development of social attachments in infancy. Monographs of the society for research in research development.
Pietromonaco, P,R & Feldman Barrett,L (2000) The internal working models concept : what do we really know about the self in relation to others. Review of general psychology.
Hazan, C, & Shaver, P (1987) Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. Journal of personality and social psychology.
Hazan, C & Shaver, p (1990) .Love and work: an attachment theoretical perspective .journal of personality and social psychology.
Collins ,N, L & Read.s .j (1990) Adult attachment, working models and relationship quality in dating couples, journal of personality and social psychology .
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