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One of the significant issues affecting marriages and families in the current world is divorce. Couples during marriage usually take an oath to stick to their partners until death, but that is not often the case. 50% of married people in the United States are likely to divorce (Brown & Wright, 2017). A couple of people in the USA have even experienced more than one divorce. Several factors can result in divorce in marriages. Such issues include communication challenges, lack of intimacy, lack of love, and addiction. Divorce can have both negative and positive impacts on the children, couples, and family at large. It can create guilt and sadness in children, as most of them end up blaming themselves for their parents' separation. Among couples who have separated, divorce can be a cause of depression. One of the most significant problems among divorced parents is co-parenting. Being there for their kids, both emotionally and physically, is one way of achieving successful co-parenting for divorced partners. This paper elaborates on the various causes and effects of divorce. Additionally, how divorced partners can achieve successful co-parenting of their kids will also be explained.
Causes of Divorce
Among the leading causes of divorce in modern marriages is communication challenges. Communication is crucial for the survival of any wedding. How marriage partners communicate and share their problems can determine whether the marriage will last (Mohlatlole et al., 2018). If partners lack the proper way of expressing their financial, commitment, and other relationship issues, they are likely to engage in disagreements. If partners are unable to speak out their predicament so that they understand each other, it can result in growing resentments and unproductive arguments.
Falling out of love is also attributed to be among the leading causes of divorce in current marriages. Most recently, divorced partners blame a lack of intimacy or desire as the cause of their separation. People usually see betrayal as the reason for most divorce, but a times partners can grow apart and lose the feeling of romance (Mohlatlole et al., 2018). When partners lose the sense of love towards each other, it can result in an overarching impression of distance leading to divorce.
Lack of intimacy can also develop among partners where they feel they are no longer in love with each other. Where there is no intimacy among partners, it can result in a dormant bedroom, with partners denying each other off their conjugal marital rights. Couples can even refuse to hug or kiss one another, showing no sign of physical affection. At first, couples usually convince themselves that they can handle a lack of intimacy, but with time it becomes unbearable leading to divorce.
Domestic violence can also lead to divorce in marriages. Abuse can range from emotional falsification to physical torture; an example is when a partner withholds affection as penance. Some divorced partners say that separating from an abusive marriage is a supported and safe way and is the best way for an individual to regain safety (Mohlatlole et al., 2018). Abuse can differ from other sources of divorce as it is not a relationship problem but one that exists within a partner. More than a quarter of divorced marriages in the USA attribute abuse as the cause of their divorce.
Cheating in marriages is also a significant cause of divorce in marriages. When partners develop a lack of intimacy and love towards each other, they may find it somewhere else, leading to cheating. Cheating can result in a lack of trust among partners and cause betrayal in marriages. It also is a signal that healthy communication in marriage halted a long time ago. While some unions have handled such issues and rekindled back their love and intimacy, many marriages don't survive unfaithfulness. A partner who feels cheated usually walks out of wedlock, resulting in divorce.
When couples don't show emotional support to their partners, it can result in divorce. When there is a breakdown in communication, individuals can feel desperate and criticize each other for no reason. Partners who don't receive emotional support can feel disrespected and undermined. Some of the divorced women said that a lack of emotional support proved that they were not the main priority of their marriages, which is why they divorced. Couples who lose emotional support towards their partners find it had to develop such feelings again. When couples don't show emotional support towards their partners, they usually end up divorcing.
Among modern marriages, the financial aspect is also a significant factor resulting in divorce. How partners use, save, or make money is among the issues that can cause tension in marriages. Partners can end up disagreeing concerning finances, and that can result in significant problems, especially if they were working as a team. One partner may think that the other one is spending more, whereas the other one can be worried regarding their partner's budget and debt (Mohlatlole et al., 2018). At the initial stages of marriage, couples can tolerate how their partners spend money in their joint account. However, that can become intolerable with time resulting in divorce.
Addiction also contributes to divorce in many marriages in the United States. Addiction can be either alcohol, drugs, or any other destructive vice. Many marriage therapists confirm that substance abuse is common among complainants that file for divorce (Mohlatlole et al., 2018). Addiction and substance abuse can result in physical violence and disagreements in marriages. When a partner becomes a threat to the other partner's safety because of addiction, it is always advisable for them to part ways.
Ultimately, getting married while not adequately prepared for it can result in divorce in the future. People who marry before realizing themselves better and comprehending what's important to them, rarely select the best partners. With time, such marriages are likely to experience disputes and disagreements. When couples realize that they have different life goals and plan to achieve unique things, they can terminate their marriage.
Effects of Divorce on Children
Poor academic performance is one of the side effects of divorce on children. Children can end up getting confused and destructed while trying to figure out the altering family dynamics. Separation can result in the interruption of children's focus on daily activities such as school work (Gustavsen et al., 2016). The more confused and distracted kids are, the less likely they can focus on their academic duties. It is always necessary for a divorced parent to amicably agree on appropriate ways of co-parenting to save their kids from such destructions.
Divorce can also make kids lose interest in social events and activities. Children can be affected emotionally and psychologically by divorce, where they find it challenging to associate and relate with others. Such children typically tend to develop less social contacts. Kids can also feel insecure, wondering if their family is the only one experiencing divorce. Divorce can also make children lose interest in school co-curriculum activities such as sports, since they may fear interacting and socializing with other students.
Children whose parents have divorced can also develop destructive behaviors. Unresolved conflicts among divorced partners can result in future unwanted risks involving children. Some of the children who have encountered divorced can engage themselves in crime and drugs (Gustavsen et al., 2016). Others may turn to alcoholism to release and forget the pain and agony caused by divorce. Unwanted behaviors, such as alcoholism and cigarette smoking, can negatively impact the health of such children. Therefore, divorced partners have a duty of co-parenting to ensure that their kids do not develop such unwanted behaviors.
Divorce can also make kids develop a feeling of guilt. Such kids frequently wonder why their parents separated, and they might even blame themselves as the reason for the divorce. The sense of guilt is common among kids of divorced parents, but it can result in complicated health problems. Guilt normally upsurges pressure, and stress, and can lead to depression. Children who have experienced divorce should be provided with counseling and context to help them comprehend their divorce role and reduce the feelings of guilt.
Effects of Divorce on Couples
A significant effect of divorce on separated partners is depression. Several divorced partners in the USA have confessed to going into depression after separating with their loved ones (DeLongis & Zwicker, 2017). Some women have attributed a lack of financial support to why they experienced depression after divorce. Additionally, the thought of not raising kids as a family can send some partners into depression. Lack of emotional support can also make such individuals experience depression. Some divorced individuals can also experience emotional instability, and they quickly get mad.
Although divorce is primarily linked to harmful and destructive effects, it can also positively affect partners. For those couples who were in an abusive marriage, divorce can bring a sense of relief and feeling of safety (DeLongis & Zwicker, 2017). Sometimes divorce seems to be the best way out of an abusive marriage. Partners who felt a lack of financial freedom while in a marriage can regain it back after divorce. Additionally, if a partner is not loyal to one another, separation can help avoid infidelities, such as contracting STIs and HIV/AIDS. For those partners who had lost love and intimacy towards each other, divorce can offer them an opportunity to find love elsewhere.
Effects of Divorce on Family Relationships
One of the effects of divorce on family relations is continuous conflicts among parents. The conflict between partners that resulted in divorce can continue even after separation (Damota, 2019). Splendid relationships among parents who have divorced, together with frequent contact with the kids, is crucial for the children's gradual acclimatization to the divorce condition. Nevertheless, instances of continuous conflict among former spouses usually result in injunctions of meetings, deteriorating relations, and poor communication between custodian parents and children. The worsening ties between former spouses can lead to depression among children.
Another effect of divorce on family relationships is it develops a negative connection between children and their parents. In an instance of a negative association between a kid and a parent, the court usually prefers to give the kid custody to the parent with splendid treatment and relations. However, emotions and alterations in a child's behavior, together with stress, can worsen the relationship between a custodian parent and a child. The initial two years after parents have separated are the most troublesome for kids and their parents (Damota, 2019). Such individuals usually require a particular time to adjust to different relationships, roles, and alterations in daily practice. A custodian parent can't compensate for the absence of the other parent, resulting in wilting control over the child's morality and behavior. Such can also worsen the relationship between the custodian parent and the child.
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